Quick post-op update

I'm home, resting, and surgery went really well. I popped right up out of the general anesthesia and have been pretty alert since then. (The vicodin is starting to make me feel a lovely little 3-glass-of-wine-esque-buzz though which is great!) After nap #1 I've already had my first drug induced crazy dream--a bic pen blew up somewhere in the atmosphere (think Biodome) and it was raining blue ink but the rain was actually powder and left a lovely little layer on everything.

My surgeon forgot to ask me what color cast I wanted before putting me under so he took the liberty of choosing hot pink and said he hopes I'm not offended by it. How in the world could someone be offended by a hot pink cast? I can't wait to bust out a sharpie and get this sucker tatted up.

Mom is here taking care of me and has unloaded the dishwasher, gone to the grocery store, scrubbed the kitchen, vacuumed, and is now in the middle of laundry. She's pretty must the bestest ever. Oh and there might be an invisible leash on the kitten because she hasn't been outside of a 2 foot radius of me since I set foot crutch in the house.

Gotta go stare at the wall for a while and continue my hourly countdown to Shark Week.

Safe Topics

My biggest fear about having surgery this week isn't the long list of complications that could arise or that the procedure will get messed up or that I'll mysteriously slip into a coma.

No, it's that I will make an absolute fool out of myself while coming out of general anesthesia. I can handle being ridiculous in front of a whole slew of nurses and doctors but the thought of saying something really embarrassing in front of my dad and not even remembering it? Mortifying.

Solution? Writing a note to myself on my hand in permanent marker. Here's what I was thinking:

Dear Caley,

You can talk about:

"Mad Men," Mexican food (but NOT TEQUILA) and your cat. 

That is all. Nothing else.

If you can't make conversation about these subjects, do not talk at all. 

Love, Caley

It's a jungle out there.*

Before she left me for California, Kelsey and I saw Greg Laswell in concert and it was AWESOME. We were big girls and went out for drinks before the concert AND stayed out till 1:30am! Considering the fact we usually stay in to watch movies, drink milk and eat cake this is a big deal.

The concert was at Minneapolis' famous First Ave's 7th Street Entry which was awesome because no matter where you stood the stage was close and the music was delicious. Not so delicious? The bathrooms which, according to Kels haven't been cleaned since the place was built in 1937 (after her review I held it and waited to go till we got home). She came out of the unisex one stall restroom and stomped back to where I was standing with an epic sneer on her face.

"Are you ok?" I asked her.

"No. I'm pretty sure you could get an STD off of that toilet seat," she shouted over the music. Then, just as a song came to a quiet end she yelled, "I THINK I GOT GONORRHEA!" Everyone around us turned and looked at her with a shocked look on their faces. Very calmly she told them, "Be careful in that bathroom."

I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Which is kiiind of fitting.

Here's a little Greg, for ya, in case you aren't familiar with his music.



*Title has nothing to do with the post. I don't think. No idea where it came from. It happens.

Monogrammed Yard

This is my brother mowing the lawn.

This is what my brother carved into my lawn. 

{He claimed he needed to assert his presence at The Estate.}

The neighbors loved it.

Because monogrammed yards are the next big thing.

You don't even know.

Mom's Party Advice

Somehow time slipped away from me and I got way behind in planning a little backyard soiree for E and fellow bloggers Kate and Katie. Mom has summers off and when I emailed her my list of things that still needed to get done in the 1 hour  I had post work/pre-party she jumped right in and offered to take over on a few things. She also gave me a little advice on how to calm my nerves.

 

Me:  ok so you're covering: flowers, plates, napkin rings, cucumbers, and ice

Mom:  yup. sure am. relax!

Me:  i'm pretty wound up. no lie

Mom:  i can tell 

but STOP

Me:  but it's so exciting!

Mom:  breathe.  

enjoy.

and take a shot.

Refunds

So here's the deal. The bones in my foot grew wrong when I was a kid and now I have to have surgery to fix them so that they stop hurting. Lovely, right? So, I'm scheduled to go under the knife two weeks from today and one of my colleagues asked if I'm going to have any "elective work" done while I'm in because I have to be on bedrest for a few weeks. He said that would be the perfect time to secretly let a nose job, nips or tucks heal. Not sure how to take that advice...

Anyway, when I found out I had to have surgery my doctor took one look at my x-rays and said, "You should probably ask your parents for a refund. What kind of warranty do you have?"

After I left the clinic I called my dad and told him what he had said. He shot back, "What about our refund? We ordered a perfect a perfect child. Now we find out you're defective?"

Sorry, Dad. I'll see what I can do.

Unsent letters: dos or dont's

This conversation covers the therapeutic nature of writing a letter to someone even if you're never going to mail it, how Oprah made her millions and also might include a hidden theory about why the post office is going bankrupt. Maybe.

 Me:  i feel the need to write a letter to them, even if i never send it

 Kristin:  that's what oprah says to do. and look how successful she is. she owns like half of hawaii. so i vote for writing the letter that will never be delivered

 Me:  she probably saved all the money she would have spent on postage to build her empire

 Kristin:  validation that this is the correct method of emotional healing 

 Me:  yes. feel better AND make bank.

Benny the Jet Rodriguez vs. Devon Sawa

There really isn't even a versus involved here. Benny the Jet Rodriguez (whose middle name in the movie is actually Franklin, not "the jet," did you know that?) wins HANDS DOWN.

I am was in luuuuuuurve with Benny the Jet Rodriguez back in the day. This hasn't been verified but I'm pretty sure Sister was too. And just about every other girl who was between the ages of 6 and 16 at any point during the early 90s. He was only ever in The Sandlot and I think our VHS copy of it was watched to the breaking point.

Devon Sawa, on the other hand, was in all sorts of classics like Now and Then, Little Giants and Casper. (In Casper when he said, "Can I keep you?" I swooned. I wanted to BE Christina Ricci in that scene.) I remember sitting on the yellow shag carpeting at Wendy's house in grade school reading feature stories about him in YM and BOP (my mom refused to buy those magazines for me. Clearly I'm scarred for life.) But where the heck is Devon Sawa doing these days? I decided to check it out.

Unfortunately, Devon Sawa went from the cover of teeny bopper magazines to being arrested for domestic violence. So, even though it was never really a close contest and Benny has had my heart since 1993, Devon's police record knocks him out of the competition.

What started this riveting discussion? Well, Miss E. has invited me to a movie in the park and the film being shown? Little Giants. It'll be fun, even though Benny the Jet Rodriguez won't be making an appearance.

Benny pic from The Western Gazette via Google images.

Wordless Wednesday: Turtles

Ok fine, I lied...there are words but I couldn't share these photos without a little background. My good friend, Lettie, is researching turtles at Nova University in Florida and sent me these pictures. After they hatched, a total of 12 baby loggerhead turtles got to hang out in her bathtub before being released back onto the beach. 

Green Sea Turtle Nest

 Soon to be hatchlings! (aka eggs)

Welcome to the world, little one.

Swim safely and say hello to Nemo for me when you see him.

Song on repeat

Hello, Tuesday that feels like a Monday.

Last night I had so many big things swirling around in my little brain that I just couldn't figure out which one to think about so, instead, I kept myself up worrying about where I had left the Walgreens receipt for my new heating pack because I want to exchange it for a different one but couldn't remember where I put the receipt.

Also, Walgreens doesn't require a receipt for exchanges so clearly this was a good use of my time.

Given all of that...today's Grooveshark playlist consists of this one song on repeat.Paired with a cup of Trader Joe's organic "Relax" tea it's doing wonders. Hope it helps ease you into the week, too.

Cupcake, cigars and antique birthdays.

Since I decided at 10am I was starving and got a hot breakfast sammie AND a piece of berry coffee cake at Starbucks I am not hungry for lunch. Instead of eating, I'm blogging. Although I will make an exception for the cupcake icecream cone that our favorite intern Kelly made for me. Doesn't it look delicious? There's a reason she's our favorite intern.

My brother is fully moved into my house and has turned the 2nd floor into a man cave, complete with a massive tv, a giant bean bag chair and lots of video games. The cat doesn't understand why she isn't allowed up there and spends hours staring at his door. He remains unmoved and the "NO CAT ALLOWED" rule stands.

He is already sneaking his guyishness in all over the place. Here are three changes I've noticed already in Week 1:

• The bathroom smells like Old Spice instead of bergamot + citrus.
• A bottle of Jameson is taking up space in the freezer between the frozen peaches and low fat vanilla ice cream.
• On the patio table smoked cigars have replaced pretty little white tea light candles.

Speaking of the men in my life, Dad turns 60 tomorrow! When I mentioned the fact that an old car he has had for years officially becomes an antique this summer, too, and we could celebrate both of them together he didn't laugh. Not sure why. Any excuse for a party, right?

Happy birthday to my daddy.

And his car. 

And America.