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2.27.2009

Schnowy snow



Since Dad was nice enough to get me (another) new snow thrower I figured I should take a picture for him and since I already had the picture, why not share it with y'all?














We got 6-10 inches last night throughout the Twin Cities and the drive into work this morning was blinding. No literally, snow + sun = BRIGHT.










You would think that the snow plows would know better than to hit their own "PLOW ROUTE" signs but apparently not.












On a totally non-snow related note, I got to grab drinks with the work girls for Kris and Kristen's birthdays last night and we were pretty much the only girls in the bar. They used to have 2 for 1's but now market it as 1/2 price drinks but our doddering old bartender wouldn't believe us when we told him it was pretty much the same thing. Anyway, I digress. Here are my two favorite quotes of the night:
"I smell bacon. Does anyone else smell that?"
(everyone looks around, sniffing)
"No, but this place is definitely a sausage factory so maybe that's it!"
-----------
A: My friend's actually remembered my birthday! TWO people brought cake's. Oh and K got me a stripper.
K: Yeah, I don't bake. It limits my options.

2.26.2009

Regurgitation

In second grade my mom and dad were told during parent teacher conferences that my biggest issue was that I didn't follow directions. When given a coloring sheet with a scarecrow and pumpkin on it, I had "scribbled" all over the page and did not color within the lines as instructed. When they asked me about it, I told them that I had done it on purpose because scarecrows are messy and have hay hanging out all over the place and how could I make it look realistic if I drew inside the lines?
Fast forward a few years.
I just got a case study/memo back that I barely remember doing during lunch the day it was due and guess what my grade was; an A+. Whether or not they even give out pluses in grad school is beside the point. The point is that I put absolutely no creative thought or inventive ideas into that paper and I still managed to get a perfect grade on it. How did I do that?
I followed directions.
No really, that's all I did. I was told before turning in the assignment that the prof would be grading on whether or not we answer all of the questions he asked in the assignment outline. That's it. So all I did was answer every single question asked on the sheet. I put it in a standard essay format (into, supporting paragraphs, conclusion), used perfect citations and boom: an A+ assignment was born. The professor even took the time to TELL me how great my paper was.
Seriously? Nothing has changed. I'm still simply being rewarded for "coloring inside the lines."
Since the semester started, I've been trying to stay positive and open about the class but I'm getting to my breaking point. Mykala recently wrote about what she learned from her liberal arts education and how it exposed her to new schools of thought and to individuals who were "who were seeking truths— both absolute and personal."
I feel as though in higher education it should be expected that students should be seeking the truth but in this class that has not been my experience. Instead, it is expected that one regurgitate established theories in a specific context and in order to get a good grade.
So, I figure I have two options: quit because this program is so ridiculously easy or apply for the full masters (I'm in a grad. certificate program right now) because it is so ridiculously easy that it would be a crime not to do the whole thing.
Application, here I come.

2.25.2009

Lunch invite

A somewhat fictionalized account of an actual conversation

Me: I was supposed to have lunch with my dad today and he ditched me!
Him: That sucks
Me: And now I have nothing to eat and I am STAHHHHving
Him: Do you want to meet for a quick lunch?
Me: Really? Yeah! Where?
Him: Your bedroom.
Me: I was thinking more along the lines of an actual food establishment.
Him: Um, don't you have a kitchen?
Me: So, you're asking me out for a quickie at lunch, not a quick lunch.
Him: Weeelllll....
Me: I have to go, I just lost my appetite.

2.24.2009

Feel good= write good


I don't feel good and when I don't feel good, I don't write good (Sidenote: Do you see that bad grammar? Proof that I am clearly not up for blogging. Ok fine, maybe I deliberatetly had bad grammar to make a point.)
(Sidenote on the Sidenote: FYI just now I did NOT deliberately spell 'deliberately' wrong so...maybe we'll call that the proof.)


(Image from Natalie Dee at www.nataliedee.com)

2.23.2009

I heart Capucine

So, a while back Sister and I discovered these adorable videos of a little girl named Capucine but we had both forgotten about her (don't tell on us!) until I saw a link to one on Apocalypstick Now.
How cute is she? In this one, Capucine decides to trick the Tooth Fairy with a peanut. Pretty sure I was never that clever when I was her age...and if I tried out her plan now now, I think I would just wake up to Ebs dropping the peanut on my face in the middle of the night.

2.20.2009

Fridge poetry II

I've mentioned before that the fridge in our break room is often a forum for some amazing poetry. These two take the cake right now and are the perfect segue into a long awaited weekend. (Sidenote: In writing this post I found out that "segue" is not spelled "segway." Good to know...)

I feel like this one could be straight out of a personal ad...

And this one just makes me giggle, even if I don't exactly know how to use all of the words properly.

If you can't read the tiny magnets it says, "You're naughty, honey, but my erstaz pride is wired in there like a feckless juggernaut."

Oh and BTW, I totally saw Spiderman's grandmother and Dwight Schrute at the Loring Pasta Bar last night. It was pretty intense.

2.19.2009

Parking lot senility

We all know I act about 60 years older than I actually am, but last night it once again hit home that I am an old lady trapped inside the body of a 24 year old.
Running into Target to do a quick return (and I really was running...the wind was so cold I wished I wasn't too vain to pull out my ugly puffer coat), I saw three guys laughing as they got out of their car. Then, I noticed that not one of them was wearing a jacket, or even a sweatshirt. Nope, these teenagers had on t-shirts and it was only NINE degrees...without the windchill! I'm not even kidding you, I wanted to chew them out but I held back and continued scurrying across the ice mumbling things about "kids these days" and "hypothermia."
On the way out of Target I made a beeline for my car, or at least where I thought I had parked my car. When I got there, however, it was nowhere to be found. Totally confused I stood there, peeking over my scarf trying to figure out where it went. A little old man (and I mean OLD) stopped next to me with his cart, looking from right to left and said, "You too, huh? It gets harder and harder to remember this stuff, doesn't it?"
Yes, yes it does.
To compensate for my early onset elderlyness, I've been trying to supplement my diet with copious amounts of kid foods, like gogurts, juiceboxes, and fruit snacks. We'll see if it helps...

2.18.2009

Elliptical romance

A text convo with Sister
Me 4:54pm So you have to sign up for machines at my gym and i always have to kick someone off who has gone over time. I feel bad doing it!
Sister 4:58 Don't! your time is just as valuable as theirs...they can sign up and wait just like you did
5:05pm But he was cute!
5:05pm Ha! Now he's seen you for sure!
-----------------------------------------
Me 5:31 OMG he just came back and apologized for the mix up! I think he loves me.
Sister 5:31 Seeee! haha
5:32 Right? I mean he pretty much asked me to have his babies
5:33 Thats usually what that means. I hope you're ready for that kind of commitment this soon in your relationship
5:35 Well, I did make sex eyes at him. I need to accept the consequences of unprotected sex: pregnancy. And him falling in love with me.
5:38 You're cracking my old ass up!!
5:39 Omg sister...how am i going to tell mom and dad? I could claim it was an act of God...
5:40 Immaculate conception. They already think you might be that pure! Haha!
5:42 Every child is a miracle so I wouldn't really be lying about it being God's will.
5:42 HAhahahah!ha!
5:43 Plus, lying is a sin. Eye sex is not. The end.
5:44 The word of the Lord.
5:46 Amen sistah. Amen.

(photo of my rec center from google images and here)

2.17.2009

Rec center eye candy

So it is staying light later, the temperature is above zero, and radio stations are starting to talk about summer music festivals. Somehow all of that collectively has been making it much easier to get my butt to the gym. Know what else helps? Classes are back in session. Since I work out on campus, this means I no longer have to chug along on my elliptical machine in an empty room. It also means that I get to people watch. Reading while running has never worked for me; I always get dizzy and feel like I'm going to fall off. Listening to my ipod is ok but it kind of makes my breath too loud in my own head (weird, I know). Since both reading and music are out for entertainment options, I'm stuck with the tiny screen showing CNN in the corner and staring at other exercisers while trying to look un-creepy and stalkerish.

Yesterday, after a few too many chocolate covered espresso beans, I was bouncing off the walls and couldn't wait to blow off some extra energy. Little did I know that the gods of the Rec Center had a beautiful present waiting for me: baseball spring training. The gym was packed with gorgeous guys all competing with each other to show off their skills. And I was more than ok with that.

Is it time to work out again yet?

2.16.2009

For a friend

from The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"People have stars, but they aren't all the same. For travelers, the stars are guides. For other people, they're nothing but tiny lights. And for still others, for scholars, they're problems. For my businessman, they were gold. But all those stars are silent stars. You, though, you'll have stars like nobody else."

"What do you mean?"

"When you look up at the sky at night, since I'll be living on one of them, since I'll be laughing on one of them, for you, it'll be as if all the stars are laughing. You'll have stars that can laugh!"

And he laughed again.

"And when you're consoled (everyone is eventually consoled), you'll be glad you've known me. You'll always be my friend. You'll feel like laughing with me. And you'll open your windows sometimes just for the fun of it... And your friends will be amazed to see you laughing while you're looking up at the sky. Then you'll tell them, 'Yes, it's the stars. They always make me laugh!"

2.14.2009

To you with love

2.13.2009

Love is...

In anticipation of Valentine's day, the adoptable puppies of Wags and Whiskers would like to bring you an early edition of, "Love is..."
(If you are interesting in adopting one of these adorable Australian Shepherd/pittie mix puppies or their momma and live in the Twin Cities metro area, please contact Rachel at WagsandWhiskersFoster@gmail.com)

Love is trust...

Love is dreamy...

Love is sharing...

Love is making others smile...

Love is exhausting...

Love is being able to disagree (sometimes)...

Love is curious...

Love is letting a friend lean on your shoulder...

Love is holding on, but not too tight...

Love is vewwwwwy vewy serious...

Love is kisses...

Love is always being there, no matter what!

Hope you all have a Valentine weekend filled with love!
xoxo

2.11.2009

I agree.





"What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork." - Pearl Bailey

Sidewalk giraffe

This morning my sidewalk was a giraffe.
But at least it didn't have a giraffe on it...



From the kitchen she heard shouts coming from the back yard. "Mom! Mom! Come here! Come see!"
"Kate, I'm busy, what is it?" She answered.
"No, Mom, come look! There is a giraffe on the patio." Hearing that from a four year old merited wiping her hands with the dishrag and leaving the plate in sudsy water. Through the sliding glass doors she could see her daughter crouched on the cement steps, head bent with her blond hair walling in whatever it was she was examining.
"Where is the giraffe?"



Sitting up, her hair parted revealing her excited face and the giraffe, curled on the ground in front of her. "See, mom? It has those little antler things and spots on its back, just like in the pictures!"
"Oh Katie, that is a snail!"
(Sister and Mom, circa 1984)

2.10.2009

Bad dream city

Do you know what happens when there is a rain and wind storm at the beginning of February in Minnesota?
You wake up in the middle of the night in a dead panic CONvinced that the sounds you hear is a burglar crawling around in your air ducts or an escaped murderer dancing an Irish jig in your attic. This leads to frantic texting of family members to see if someone, anyone, is awake at 3:00am and willing to calm you down over the phone. When that fails, you turn on the light and poke at the cat until she yawns herself awake so you don't feel completely alone. After the soothing music you've turned on has absolutely no effect on drowning out the dark and stormy night noises you turn your ceiling fan up to high so it sounds like a jet is taking off in your bedroom. That almost helps but not quite enough so you reach into your Catholic roots and start whispering Hail Mary's, hoping the repetition will lull you to sleep. Bingo. They work like a charm; better than Nyquil or Tylenol PM.
I don't know how anyone ever manages to stay awake for a full rosary...

2.09.2009

Full moon madness

Usually I keep a few drafts of posts ferreted away for days when my brain says to me, "You cwazy" when I ask it to help me be creative first thing in the morning. It said that and more to me today but unfortunately, I have no back up posts waiting in the wings.
So, all I've really got for you is that I am positive the full moon was messing with my cat. Every three hours she woke me up by dropping things on my face (hair clips, bottle caps, bobby pins) and then promptly stole my pillow and passed out as soon as my alarm went off. My oatmeal turned into an inedible brick at breakfast so I had to stick with just drinking my chai.

I may or may not have skipped the whole shower thing this morning (don't worry, I smell good and my hair looks decent thanks to deodorant, perfume and some dry shampoo.)It is supposed to be raining all day and best part about that it will be perfect weather for the movie night I have planned with the girls after work.
That is all. Adieu.

Sidenote: If you need something amusing to start your Monday out right, (more amusing than my non-substantial attempt at writing) check out this post. Gotta love kid humor!

2.06.2009

I need a drink...




...and somehow the juice box just isn't cutting it.





Is it 5:00 yet?

Things I love right NOW

It has been a while since a Friday round-up of "Things I love right NOW" so here you go folks...enjoy!

If you want to see a cute impression of a duck, Anne's blog is the place to go. Oh, Lil, how I adore you...

Most of the world has a crush on the president's wife, Lady O. After checking out this picture I'm pretty sure you will too. It's making me have serious flash backs to high school dances.

If I was the tattooing type, I might think about getting something cool like this, maybe with Sister? Hmm...

Ever had someone say to you, "Wow, I just never pictured you guys as being such close friends" ? I have. To them, I say, "PSHA! Check THIS out."

Ok, so, I have a penchant for shows involving medicine. Probably has something to do with those years I spent working in the back of an ambulance, but watching Private Practice I fell in love with the song Devil's Thunder by Rachel Cantu. Listen to it on her myspace page. Trust me.

And last, I have joined Twitter! I'm not sure that I love it yet, but hopefully I'll get swept up in the excitement soon.

2.05.2009

Blond

Grandma Doris had extra credit card points that had to be used up on magazine subscriptions. Katie was in charge of picking out who got which ones and every week for a few months a new publication showed up at my house.

me: hey, i got Coastal Living in the mail today
sister: yeah? cool.
me: kate...where do I live?
[pause]
sister: OMG i didn't even think of that! HAHAHA
me: yup, in the midwest.
sister: seriously, omg
me: its ok. we have lakes. lakes have coasts. kinda.
sister: totally counts.

Sidenote: Ok I have to admit that I had a bit of a moment myself when I tried to put this post up this morning...I put the post date as 2008 and I accidentally spelled "Blond" with an e at the end. Awesome.

2.04.2009

Eau de Schezuan

me: i smell like chinese food.
friend: on purpose?
me: yeah its a new perfume i'm trying out. my bvlgari was just too normal so i thought i'd dabble in asian cuisine
friend: well, find a guy to give some feedback
friend: maybe he'll say "mmm, you're making me drool for all the wrong reasons"
me: i'd be afraid he would get confused by the smell and try to tip me
me: not like that would be degrading or anything
friend: well, he might use chopsticks, at least
me: how polite!
friend: we at least need a name for your new fragrance
me: eau de schzechuan?
friend: Take Out Empress
friend: oooh, better--Schezchuan Concubine

2.03.2009

25+

I've been tagged in about a million of those "25 random things" posts and notes on facebook so here we go, my 25+ random things. (I was going to try to do 100 like Dolce but wasn't feeling ambitious enough so...44 it is!)

1. It is physically impossible for me to go to a movie without eating Sour Patch Kids.
2. When I drink tequila I cry.
3. There is a bridge over the Mississippi that always makes me wonder what it would feel like to fall into the river when I drive over it, but I don't want to find out.
4. My handwriting is only good if I do caps with a skinny marker.
5. Wearing heels makes me feel prettier.
6. Singing along at concerts scares me because I'm afraid I'll forget the lyrics.
7. I've never felt safer than when I go to Mass.
8. For a few weeks I get addicted to a song and listen to it almost exclusively over and over again before moving on to my next obsession.
9. I can't remember the last time I slept through the night.
10. I think hippos are cute, like giant pugs or bulldogs.
11. Plants die the minute I bring them home.
12. Changing the toilet paper roll is really hard for me to remember to do.
13. Grocery store clerks hit on me every time I shop.
14. Praying makes me fall asleep.
15. Babies fall asleep when I hold them; my arms are like a drug.
16. 3 meals a day doesn't work for me: I need more like 17.
17. When I'm reading a good book I can have entire conversations and not remember a word I've said.
18. Insurance commercials make me cry on a regular basis.
19. Dressing up is easy but trying to look casually cute is nearly impossible for me.
20. In high school I had joint custody of a leopard gecko named Phoenix who was born on 9/11/01.
21. The smell of tuna makes me gag.
22. Most of my best friends have known me since I was 8.
23. Every year of the first day of class since I was in kindergarten I've eaten oatmeal for breakfast.
24. If I were stranded on a desert island and could have three foods I'd pick bread, olives and cheese.
25. Having long nails makes me feel dirty, but not in a good way.
26. I hate the smell of smoke, probably because I grew up with it.
27. Once I got arrested and I still don't talk about it.
28. I believe that any religion that teaches love contains some truth.
29. When I was in 4th grade they diagnosed me with a heart condition but I figured out later it was really panic attacks.
30. Closing my eyes and putting my head back on a plane during take off is one of my favorite feelings ever.
31. I've never made out in the backseat of a car or in a movie theater but have always wanted to.
32. I've left parties early because there were no cute guys.
33. My house is always messy.
34. Reading magazines makes me feel frivolous so I only do it while I'm working out to cancel out the feeling.
35. At 16 years old my best friend and I got into a car accident and I told everyone that I was driving my car; they believed me but she was the one driving.
36. Asking boys to dances at my all girls high school has made me unafraid to approach men I think are good looking, but I still prefer it when they come to me.
37. The only drawing I've ever won was at a staff meeting where I got Gopheropoly (a U of MN version of Monopoly).
38. While bartending on the Mississippi I found a dead body floating in the river.
39. My sister makes me wish I was blonde but I am too pale to pull it off.
40. If I can afford having lots of kids I'd like to have a whole passel of 'em.
41. Without at least 8 hours of sleep every night and a snack every few hours during the day I turn into a crabby monster.
42. I hoard gift certificates until I find something really special to buy but by then I've usually lost them.
43. Listening to old music makes me want to wear aviator sunglasses.
44. I don't like ending on normal numbers (my alarm is set for 6:37am.)

2.02.2009

"Hello, Gerentology speaking..."

I keep getting wrong calls asking for the Gerontology department and it is getting really old. (Badum ching!)
I can't decide if that is better or worse than the two month spree when every other call I answered was looking for the Urology office but regardless, it is annoying. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy old people. Two of my favorite people in the world are over 90 years old: next door neighbor Vi, who turns 95 this year and is the most avid Twins baseball fan I've ever met and Grandma Doris, who is actually 85 but lies and says she is 91 in order to get people to think she looks great for her age. Still, I'm hopeful the webmaster will be able to fix the wrong phone number listed on othe website and I won't have to field my calls anymore. Ah, gerontology...
 
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Sidenote by Sidenote Cal is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
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